Depression. Suicide. Anxiety. Pain. Stupid Christians don’t get it, not for real. Do you ever feel like Christians are completely disconnected to the pain and sadness happening in the world? You start talking to your Christian friend looking for solidarity and support for your struggles, and instead your friend ends up giving you a “brighter side of the moon” pep talk that leaves you a little annoyed. Why can’t she just be sad with me? Why can’t he just stop trying to always be so happy?

My oldest son asked me one time,“Mom, don’t you have any advice that doesn’t have God in it?” After our family suffered a terrible and traumatic situation of losing our leader, my husband and the kids’ dad, my son struggled big time with life as a whole. He really resented Chrisitans and going to church because it seemed like everyone else wasn’t really talking about how bad life was. At least the life he was experiencing was so much darker than any of the topics that anyone seemed to be talking about. Death had come so close to our family. It overshadowed any light and joy for many years. My son felt like Christians were disconnected from the pain of the world. I answered his question,“Son, I’ve tried everything else and it was awful. God is all I have to give.”

The truth is that where there is hope, there is always joy, even in the midst of the darkest times of our lives. Hebrews 6:19 tells us that “this hope” is an anchor for our souls. This hope is Jesus Christ and His redemptive work of paying our debt to Death. Because we have this hope to carry us through the dark, ugly moments of life, we are able to move through the grief and sadness and always end up back at joy. 

 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies. Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message)

Philippians 4:8-9 encourages believers to always think about the good things because God makes all things work together for our good and for His purposes in others and our own lives. We don’t overlook the pain, hurt, and sadness in the world, Christians just don’t believe that those things get the final say when all is said in done. Jesus will get the final say and God promises to make all things right. So no matter what you are going through in this world, God is faithful to right the wrongs and heal the hurts. 

So next time you are sharing your heart and it is full of pain, know that your Christian friend is just shining light into the darkness. Darkness always needs light so that we don’t become cynical and miserable. Be open to the beauty that light will bring into the hurt places of your heart. Often we want people who will wallow in our pain with us, but rarely does that give us life. Take in the light of encouragement and let it begin to heal the hurt and broken places. You won’t be sorry that you are focusing on the good, true, honorable, and beautiful parts of life. Joy always follows a brave heart that seeks the things of God.